How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
Somewhere out there, on several phones belonging to strangers, exists a video of me rapping Baby Got Back on stage in four inch heels that I stole from the drag queen. Also I made out with the chick with the octopus tattoo.
You have the best birthdays
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
Randomize
