Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
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