Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
Randomize
