You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
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