38 yer olds are good kisserssss
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize
