So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
I stumbled in at 6am to find my cat in the window making a noise I've never heard her make. When I went to the window there was a goat outside staring at us.
Are you sure? Or did you just think there was a goat?
No there was a goat. I gave it a donut.
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
Randomize
