i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
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