I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
