I want to have your abortion
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
Randomize
