he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
Randomize
