we're blogging at a bar
I just pynch a tree in the face
Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
You are a booty call, not a friend.
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
Randomize
