and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
I deserve to be covered in dicks
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
Randomize
