I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
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