In all seriousness though I just found out the dog pissed in my bed it'd be nice to crash somewhere other than my couch while my piss soaked bedding is in the washer
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
