did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
He told me they were just razor bumps!
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
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