I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
Randomize
