I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
