Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Randomize
