"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
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