I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
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