Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
Randomize
