You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
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