One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
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