Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize
