so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
Is it acceptable to pay for WiFi on flights solely for the purpose of getting on Tinder to find a sugar daddy on the plane that doesn’t mind upgrading me to first class?
Do it. You’re flying for two weddings. You’re gonna need that first class.
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
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