they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
