You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
ok first of all what the fuck
Randomize
