Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
This is the worst date ever. Pls kill me. No, wait, scratch that, stick to the original plan of killing Paris Hilton, I'll live though this
he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
