I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
Randomize
