yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
did i walk over a car last night?
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize
