Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
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