I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
Randomize
