is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Randomize
