she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
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