We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
4 words: hood of his car
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
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