Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
Randomize
