i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
Randomize
