they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
Randomize
