life lesson #1: a fart during an awkward silence between 2 strangers doesnt make it less awkward.
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
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