doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
That chode just called off the engagement. I just dropped his toothbrush in the toilet. And I’ve forgotten to take my birth control for the past two weeks. He’s fucked!
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
