Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
Randomize