It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
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