Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
Randomize
