Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
It's not a walk of shame if you run
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
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