You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
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