wake up i wanna do it froggy style
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
