plz talk dirty to me
Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
Randomize
