there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
ALERT: Turns out when I'm drunk I turn into a clepto. I just found keys, a ketchup bottle, and sweatshirt in my backpack that don't belong to me. If yours, come collect from me. I'm still drunk in the back of biology lecture.
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
