I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
Randomize
