So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Randomize
