White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
Randomize
