ya dads aren't the best wingmen
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
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