i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
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