it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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