think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
I need water and some morals
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
Randomize
