a queef is a wish your heart makes.
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
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