i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
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