it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
You ruined the universe
Randomize
