so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
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