seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
Attn every girl I've slept with in the past 26 years of my life. One of you cunts gave me herpes. This is the 4th of 5 group MMS. That's right. It's in the 50s. There are two girls I don't have #s for. One was on a cruise and the other was a prostitute in Amsterdam. So which of you has herpes?
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize
