Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
Randomize
